first day without smokes

this morning starts the first day  i’ll be smoke free. putatively, that is. i’m not nicotine free yet. i’m chomping on some nicotine gum now.

the stressors have already started. my friend is probably losing her apartment, and tho i’ve gotten paid, i’m just about out of money for the next two weeks.  i’ve already had a few flashes about buying some cigarettes to get over this hump, but isn’t every day some kind of hump?

just not committed yet.  i figure i’ll have to build up some commitment, from somewhere. after all the starts and stops, i just don’t feel like i have any resources in me left.

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