the end of a week

Well, I found my major smoking stressor: work.  I panicked each and every morning this work week and totally and utterly failed to quit. On the upside, I’m only smoking a pack a day instead of my full-on two packs.

Also, I’ve learned that I can go extended times without cigarettes.  Quite interesting actually. I never thought I could go more than a short time without one. Also, I learned that working, even doing bill paying at work, seems to require a cigarette.

I looked at my American Express bill today with a smoke in my mouth and it felt just so right.

Tomorrow is Saturday; no smokes for me. I’m going to meter out my nicotine gum, stay off the smokes Saturday Sunday and Monday, and then return to work on Tuesday.

I’m so tired of this.  I  hope I can find the strength.

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