a new kinda high

The nicotine gum, specifically Nicorette, vanilla flavor, gives me the hiccoughs. And I like it. Is that sick or what?

It’s kind of like smoking; pop the gum, get a blast of nicotine, and then a physical reaction.  I actually like the hiccough ride. But it’s coming to an end.

I’ve used so much of the gum, that I guess my tissues are saturated with nicotine,  and now I really don’t get the hiccoughs.  Too bad, too sad.

Smoking has so much to do with behaviors outside of the simple addiction to nicotine. Though nicotine’s pretty addictive, like any other chemical, one can overcome it with time.  It’s the rest of the smoking experience that’s hard to break.

I was just on a smoking help site, and  some poor bastard  wrote in that he started having cravings so bad that he went back to smoking… six years after quitting. WTF?

What’s in it for me.  I love the feeling of getting full, I love the play of the little white tube.   I love playing with the damn thing.

When I first quit, and went on Chantix, I was able to avoid smoking.  After Chantix, I went back to smoking.  First thing I noticed was that Kools were much, much smaller than I remember.  Cigarettes are tiny and fragile, but I didn’t remember them that way.  Whoa dude!

Whilst not smoking, I found that I began and ended  specific tasks with cigarettes.  Certain parts of my job, driving, coming home, going to bed, finishing eating, et cetera.

I’m one of these only children who spends most of his time inside of his own mind.  I dream, think, read, study.  I think cigarettes,  like eating, are a  way of poking at my body, reminding me that’s I’m actually alive.


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