my complaint about teenage girls

Where should I go to file my complaint about teenage girls and the terrible thing I witnessed today?

I was driving through town with Coffee when I spotted groups of teen girls, soaking wet and in bikinis.  They were agitating on a few corners, waving signs.  One girl, with hips like a Neolithic fetish goddess, hid her form behind her sign, making it look as though she were naked. The rest just bounced around, waved their arms, dripped water in the hot sun, and pulled at their clinging shorts.

If I wasn’t with someone , I would have slammed on the brakes and ran screaming into the hills.

These hyperactive angels were promoting a car washing event to benefit their la cross team, or some such shit. The thing though is, the actual car washing was done by teenage boys!  This was a clear case of false advertising, which caused me terrible, terrible disappointment.

These girls were taught by their school that sex sells, and to display sex to sell something that totally is void of teenage sexiness, like a bunch of half-nake dudes cleaning my car.  I was outraged/totally turned on.  I cut through a parking lot to avoid a corner full of these beautiful creatures, to keep passing out from the excitement.

It was totally unfair!  I soooooooo wanted these girls to clean my car, while I watched from the bushes. 

So, today these girls learned how to sell things with their bodies, and I learned that I am a creepy pervert.  Lessons learned all around.

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