Archive for the Society Category

my pitches for movie twists

Posted in general, Society with tags on August 4, 2009 by wkct

Just saw Surveillance, Jennifer Lynch’s return to the big screen. It sucked. I mean, it would have been good if it were twenty years ago. Jennifer Lynch simply copied her father David Lynch’s style from about a quarter century ago and then tried to make a surprise twist at the end. Unfortunately, I anticipated the twist the first few minutes into the movie.

Movie twists get weaker and weaker as the years pass since the Sixth Sense. I’ve decided to pitch to Hollywood my own plots that have super twists that no one is going to see coming.

Story 1
Ten strangers are invited to a haunted mansion by it’s creepy owner.  He offers anyone who can spend the night a million dollars.  The owner locks them all in and then one by one they are attacked by what appears to be ghosts.  Eight of the guests end up dying.  Only the hero and his girlfriend survive.  The find that the creepy mansion owner is actually behind all the murders, and the supernatural attacks were all faked. They kill the mansion owner and then escape the building, finding themselves in the light of a new day.  But it turns out… they were trapped in the White House and they just killed the President!

Story 2
A man and his wife spend years fixing up a brownstone in an changing neighborhood in an unnamed city.  The wife goes away on a business trip, leaving her husband alone.  He finds that rats are gnawing through is beautifully restored building and eating everything in sight.  They chew through walls, the back of cabinets, and through doors.  He engages the rats in a battle of wits, and the rats we discover are unusually intelligent.  He turns his brownstone into a battlefield and wins a pyrrhic victory against the rats when he kills the young and their hulking mother.  Upon inspection, he finds that… the rats were actually an illegal immigrant Mexican woman and her children!

Story 3
A soccer team is stuck in a disabled airplane.  They are hungry and cold.  They alpha males amongst them plot on how to survive and decide to eat the weaker team members.  In the cramped confines of a commerical jet, they kill their teammates, one by one.  Eventually the group splits into two groups, one with our protagonist and one with our antagonist.  Moral issues arise about how many to kill, or whether to continue killing. Eventually, the antagonist and the protagonist battle to the death after the demise of their groups, leaving only the protagonist surrounded by enough corpses to last the winter and then some.  However, at the moment of his victory, the airplane door opens and… we learn that the plane had been grounded for three hours for de-icing is now ready to fly to Florida!.


my new bff

Posted in drugs, Society with tags on July 20, 2009 by wkct
I found a new miracle, and this is how I found it.
I have a recurring tooth problem that could be easily solved by yanking the cantankerous mother.  I’ve resisted though since I can usually get the infection to go away with a blast of antibiotics.  Once the dentist pulls your tooth, you’re under the gun to replace it or wind up with your teeth spaced like a jack o’ lantern.
Also, I’ve got some weird problem with my right foot.  I’ve injured it bad driving; some kind of repetitive strain injury.  Between the tooth hurting at the top of my body, and my foot hurting at the bottom, I’m literally squeezed by pain.
Until I discovered this new magic bullet; oxycodone.
It takes away the pain and replaces it with happy feelings.
All Friday, Saturday and Sunday I just had a nice happy oxycodone experience. Tooth pain, gone.  Foot pain, a thing of the past.  Coordination and judgment control, out the window.
I’m kind disappointed that this morning I woke up without the pains, and now I don’t have an excuse to take it.
Oxycodone is the opiate in Percocet.  In Percocet, oxycodone is paired with acetaminophen.  There’s the big controversy about taking drugs that are paired with acetaminophen off the market. Abusers and chronic pain sufferers supposedly give themselves liver damage by taking drugs like Percocet with other acetaminophen drugs that one can buy over the counter.
There’s been quite a libertarian-style response about the FDA’s recommendation.  I like the comments over at Nurse K’s site the best.

emasculation by pollution control

Posted in general, Society with tags , , on July 19, 2009 by wkct

I have been emasculated by the Federal Beast. Specifically, I’ve been emasculated by the Federal Beast’s demands for fuel efficiency.

I did a little research last night on my engine and decided I’d have a poke around. Check the oil, look for leaks, look like I know what I’m doing, typical guy stuff. I opened the hood, looked around and decided that I would figure out how to change my spark plugs.

I found the electronic ignition, three sparks at three weird angles and, ugh, well…

I know there are three other sparks facing the firewall, but actually seeing them is beyond the reach of even the most hardy man. They are hidden behind the alternator, the coolant overflow reservoir, and some other bullshit I’ve never seen before.

What the fuck???

I remember, maybe thirty years ago, standing in the engine bay of a 1969 Nova removing a water pump. No face on the engine, no fucking problem. Now, that’s the way cars should be, free of pollution control, computers, and weird ass sensors.

Computers should be nowhere near cars, except when you bully some Beardo the Weirdo by taking his Mac and running it over with a fatty tire.

Remember when you didn’t need a torque wrench, specialty tools, a computer and a high speed internet connection to change a radiator hose? You certainly didn’t need to remove three fourths of the engine to get to fuel filter. You could change out you’re crappy AM radio without frying the electrical system and you could install fog lights (which look cool though they are totally useless) without setting the car on fire and having the engine computer reboot to 1925.

See, you could take care of your own car, you could make many of your own repairs. You were in spiritual touch with the cowboys of long ago, who could comb and shoe their horse, or change their water pumps on the Chisholm trail.

Looking into the Gordian knot of hoses, wires and tubing, I realized that there was nothing I could do except fill the wiper fluid reserve. Later, I found that my penis had fallen off. I found it on the electric fan shroud. Totally emasculated by modern car technology.

attacking the debt monster

Posted in money, Society with tags , , on May 15, 2009 by wkct

I was reading some message boards about persistence and debt repayment.  This is what I did over the last thirteen months:

First, I took a day off from work and called every credit card company.  I confirmed the amount of the debt and got online access to my account.

I put the online access information into my password book and made a spreadsheet to track all my cards and loans.

Next, I started cutting costs.  I didn’t buy things, I cut back.  I started shopping more wisely at the supermarket.  I went from going to the movies, to Blockbuster to Redbox and DVDxpress to waiting for movies to come out on cable.  I saved a dollar here, a dollar there. I questioned every expense.  It has to have some great value, or make some kind of sense. I drove my electric bill down.

I targeted certain credit cards to pay in full.  I picked the two smallest balances first.  It felt great.  I reduced the number of bills coming in so I would lower the chances of accidentally defaulting. Then I started targeting cards based on the interest rate.

I then made a spreadsheet to replace my check register.  I kept nearly daily tabs on my account.  I stopped overdrafting and immediately started saving hundreds a month.

I pushed for overtime and then worked it.  Some money went for car repair, some for food, some for debt. We didn’t have enough money to pay all of our bills each month, so I cut back further.  I was lucky enough to get about ten thousand dollars in back wages.  I never saw it.  I paid out two credit cards.

I read about how to save money, and the best way to pay down debt.  I was doing it all. I got my tax refund and sent it immediately to my debt. I took back cans for money, pick change off the ground, saved coins, and paid for everything in cash.  I shrunk my debt in thirteen months from maybe 52 thousand to 37 thousand.

I quit smoking – repeatedly. Even those failures gave me some breathing room and put about fifteen hundred dollars into my pocket. I have more plans.  I use all sorts of methods; the snowball, the snowflake, and targeting balances based on balance size, interest size, or how likely the credit card company is to screw me in the future.  I suspect that I’ll pay down about six thousand more dollars in the next ten months.  It’s take that long because this is the first time in ten years I’ll have money for summer activities and for Christmas.  I searched the web about credit cards and FICO scores.  I decided to repair my credit. My credit took quite a hit from carrying all that debt.

After my next tax refund, I’ll come up with a new plan.  As soon as the smoke clears, I’ll decide what to pay next and in what order.

I must say, it was quite a struggle but I’m glad for it.  I realized how little possessions mean, how important health and time are, and how important… really important… having money is.

The biggest change was overcoming my problems with money and debt.  I shook away all the fears and shame my parents installed in my, looked honestly at the debt, and grabbed it by the horns. I didn’t let the fact that I fucked up for so many years depress me and make me look the other day, letting the debt and bad spending habits mount. I was sinking in red.  I bellied up to it and handled it.

and then there was nothing….

Posted in addictions, bullies, quitting smoking failure, smoking, Society with tags , , , , on May 5, 2009 by wkct

I haven’t posted for a while because nothing was really happening. I gave up quitting for a bit.

I also was enmeshed in some work problems. I won’t blog about my company, but I will say that there was a lot of maneuvering about the bully that runs our department. The end result of all the psychodrama is that I decided not to pick a fight.  I have too long to go for retirement.

I found this interesting article that stated what I already knew: my terribly quick wit is a response to my natural tendency to being depressed.

why are some common things so hard to do

Posted in addictions, money, quitting smoking failure, smoking, Society with tags , , , , on April 29, 2009 by wkct

Firstly, let’s get my addiction problems out of the way.  As we know, I can’t be trusted with money because I will immediately use any eight dollars I find to buy cigarettes. I thought I’d be quitting on Monday because I ran out of cigarettes and money at the same time. I won’t ask Coffee for cigarette money.  I felt ready to quit.

But I found ten dollars and in my pocket that I immediately converted to cigarettes.  On the upside,  I just ran out of money again (yes, I’m calling that an upside) and will be forced to not smoke tomorrow.

Remember critics (as if anyone reads this blog), the simple ideas like that I could stick to a pack a day, chew nicotine gum instead of smoke, or even consent to the situation of not smoking because I’m out of scratch instead of robbing a convenience store for all its menthols is a major improvement over the last quarter century. Am I proud?, No, like Bart Simpson, I feel less shame.

Onward to this common thing business. I’m reading postings on MSN about credit issues and I thinking, credit is universal to all adults, and yet no one knows how their credit scores are actually tabulated.  There’s no conventional wisdom involved; strangely, many smart moves involving credit repair are counter-intuitive.  Why should this be so hard?  Here’s some other  things that shouldn’t be so hard…

Divorce – a common situation that bankrupts all sorts of couples and takes years to conclude.

Marriage – getting all the crap together, holding the ceremony and the party, all that business is way too intense.

Taxes – few people understand their filings, or even why their tax payments are what they are

Credit – why so mysterious?

Buying a Car – why can’t I just walk into a store, pick out a car, pay for it and drive it away?

my complaint about teenage girls

Posted in general, Society with tags , , , , on April 26, 2009 by wkct

Where should I go to file my complaint about teenage girls and the terrible thing I witnessed today?

I was driving through town with Coffee when I spotted groups of teen girls, soaking wet and in bikinis.  They were agitating on a few corners, waving signs.  One girl, with hips like a Neolithic fetish goddess, hid her form behind her sign, making it look as though she were naked. The rest just bounced around, waved their arms, dripped water in the hot sun, and pulled at their clinging shorts.

If I wasn’t with someone , I would have slammed on the brakes and ran screaming into the hills.

These hyperactive angels were promoting a car washing event to benefit their la cross team, or some such shit. The thing though is, the actual car washing was done by teenage boys!  This was a clear case of false advertising, which caused me terrible, terrible disappointment.

These girls were taught by their school that sex sells, and to display sex to sell something that totally is void of teenage sexiness, like a bunch of half-nake dudes cleaning my car.  I was outraged/totally turned on.  I cut through a parking lot to avoid a corner full of these beautiful creatures, to keep passing out from the excitement.

It was totally unfair!  I soooooooo wanted these girls to clean my car, while I watched from the bushes. 

So, today these girls learned how to sell things with their bodies, and I learned that I am a creepy pervert.  Lessons learned all around.